In our rush to grow, we often forget the importance of staying connected with our past. We leave behind the memories and people who helped shape us. Think about it: how many friends from your school days are you still in touch with? And we don’t mean just having them on your Facebook or Instagram list.
While some people excel at maintaining connections with old friends, many struggle with it. This isn’t intentional; they genuinely want to have those nostalgic chit-chat sessions or meet up for coffee but somehow can never manage to fit them into their present lives.
Is Friendship Seasonal?
Experts say that seasonal friendships are very common and seen all around us. One expert shared an example of a person so out of touch with a school best friend that they couldn’t recognize each other at a reunion. Seasonal friendships are temporary or cyclical, just like the seasons. Each friendship has its own dynamics. As people move for work or other reasons, they develop new connections while old friends fade into the background. Though they might occasionally talk over the phone, physical distance and busy lives can decrease interactions, making relationships lie dormant or die down.
Another expert explains that forming close bonds with those we interact with regularly is common. These new bonds can reduce the frequency of interactions with old friends, reflecting new priorities in life.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Experts mention several reasons why some people can’t keep in touch with old friends. Here are a few key points:
- Busy Schedules: As people grow older, responsibilities increase, making regular contact harder.
- Changing Interests: Interests and priorities evolve, and what bonded friends together in the past may no longer be relevant.
- Emotional Tax: Maintaining multiple relationships over time can be emotionally taxing.
- Major Life Changes: Career shifts, marriage, and children can shift social circles.
- Preference for Less Social Interaction: Some people might prefer going out less, causing friendships to fizzle out.
- Communication Preferences: The way people communicate has changed, with many preferring social media over face-to-face interactions.
- Financial Differences: Different social strata and spending capacities can affect get-togethers.
Impact on Mental Health
Maintaining old friendships is crucial for well-being. Long-term friends have seen you through various phases and changes, providing unique emotional support during challenging times. Strong social connections reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Losing touch with old friends can impact mental health, as old friends act as a support system. Developing new friendships takes time and can be draining. Persistent lack of support can lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
How to Keep in Touch
Here are some tips to help maintain relationships with old friends:
- Set Reminders: Use your calendar to remind you to reach out or call once in a while.
- Share Memories: Send old photos or reminisce about shared experiences.
- Plan Meetings: Plan in-person meetings whenever possible, even if it’s just once a year.
- Use Social Media: Liking or commenting on posts can help you connect.
- Be Honest: If you struggle with keeping in touch, let your friends know. They will appreciate your honesty.
- Remember Special Occasions: A simple message or a gift can show that you care.
- Mutual Effort: Ensure reaching out is a two-way process. If one friend doesn’t, the other should get in touch.
- Express Affection: Show your friends that their support means a lot to you.